Winning Without Trying

Maurice just could not take in anymore. Life had dealt the final blow, so he erupted. He tried to cover it up as much as he could, but he finally broke down and did it. He shared that he was depressed.

Alison did the same thing. For years, she worked with people and developed great relationships. When all of that changed, so did she. After a while, she realized, “I am depressed.”

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Depression is real. I am having more conversations about this than ever before. It seems this life is a little too much for us at times. I usually have a saying that I constantly say for about a year at a time. Years ago, that saying was “Life is good.”

I started saying it nonstop. It all began during one of our annual trips to the refreshing Blue Ridge Mountains in North Georgia. We happened upon a store with much of the brands apparel. I remember the drawn stick-figure sort in various poses with “Life is good” printed nearby. I don’t see the original font-type on much of their products nowadays, but the brand is everywhere.

Years have passed and I don’t say, “Life is good,” anymore. Not that life is not good though. Life is good indeed. I have just found another word or phrase to use, and I will probably have yet another soon. I truly believe that life is fantastic! I am told all of the time how much my zeal for life is an encouragement for others. Some of them know that life is not always a vacation for me, but I try my best to choose joy when I could choose otherwise.

I thank God that He has blessed me with that perspective, most of the time. But I know that is not the case for many of us. Life has handed us a hand that we want to toss and burn. The challenges, expectations, circumstances, failures, and disappointments can be too much to handle. I highly encourage seeking professional help when dealing with these real emotions. Why is life so hard?!

My answer to that consistent question will cause you to either give me a bearhug or black eye. It is pretty cliché too, so I am embracing for impact. My answer did not come easy though. I wrestled with it and connected some of the similarities found in the conversations I have had. The answer is this; it hurts to lose.

It hurts to lose at relationships. It hurts to lose at work. It hurts to lose financially. It hurts to lose at parenting. It hurt to lose the life off a loved one. It hurts to lose in business. It hurts to lose in marriage. It hurts to lose possessions. It hurts to lose to the Joneses. Life hurts.

“As long as we look at life as something to win at, we will come up short and subsequently get hurt.” -DC

Unfortunately, we look at life based on competition. We look at life through the lens of winning or losing. And as soon as we lose, some form of depression sets in. As long as we look at life as something to win at, we will come up short and subsequently get hurt. So, here is the real answer. I shared a piece of the answer earlier because I was not quite ready to get squeezed or punched too hard.

My answer is, there is nothing to win. Being in a healthy relationship, having a great job, being wealthy, parenting well, succeeding in business, staying married, having clothing, transportation and shelter, and long life do not equate to winning. Somehow, we have fabricated this imaginary game and convinced ourselves that it is reality. So, since we cannot help but feel the need to win, here is my final answer to the question.

[embracing for impact]

It hurts to lose, but there is nothing to win because Jesus already won. Jesus defeated Satan and all the worries that came along with him. Jesus already won! And believing in Him makes us winners. How peaceful would it be to awaken the morning of the championship game, knowing that it has already been won and you are on the winning team? Well, fortunately, that’s life. We have the privilege of waking up without the stress of winning.

“Stop trying to win. The only way to lose is to sever ties with Jesus.” -DC

Unfortunately, this news ruffles the feathers of our competitive nature. We may get upset that we did not even get a chance to play in the game. So, I want to encourage the competitive and those who are glad they don’t have to win. Now, no longer distracted by fictitious expectations, I encourage you to prioritize people.

“We were made for the benefit of others.” -DC

If you must win, win by prioritizing people. There is no losing here. Put people first and we win! This is not easy at all. We will not always get it right, and we will not make everyone happy. But, I believe that simply putting people first will make a positive impact of our mental health. We were made for the benefit of others. So, get out there and win without trying!

Until next time…